Turbacoducken.

Yes. Say it with me.
Turbacoducken.

A chicken *wrapped in bacon*, stuffed inside of a duck that's *wrapped in bacon* and stuffed in a turkey that's *stuffed in bacon*..
The Jubbs and I are planning the logistics of it. We've purchased the turkey and the duck. We went to Genuardis' and practically stole the turkey from them.. 37 cents a lb with a purchase over 15 bucks.. That was a bit too easy!

We've got the duck and the turkey. Both in which are currently frozen.. well, pseudo frozen. It's in a cooler on the back porch in a meat holding pattern. We've decided that we're not going to do a whole chicken, we're going to cheat and just do Chicken Thighs. Boneless Chicken thighs. I know it's not completely directly to recipe, but when is it ever? Seriously!

Anyway.. We're not going to brine the turkey, mainly b/c it's pre-froze and "enhanced" with flavor and whatever madness. Actually, I think I may do an herb butter under the skin of the turkey for that umph. Now.. with the duck.. I have no goddamned idea what to do with the duck. I don't even think I've eaten duck before.. I know it's oily and a bit greasy, but I'll figure something out. I still need to think that out, if I'm all annoyed and in deep thought at work, I'll clear my mind and think about duck preparation. I kinda wish that my food work husband was here this week, I need to bounce ideas off of him..

*yawn* It's getting late..I'm tired. I'll write more in the morning.

My food muse needs to be beaten..

And viciously. The type that you disgregard a safeword type beating. The type you get written consent for before doing. The "Are you fucking sure?" type beating.

He's screaming. He doesn't have a name yet. All I know is that this guy is lisping his head off and giving me evils as I type this. The fact that my boyfriend tried to replicate my steak and has done a so-so job at doing it infuriates him. I feel as if I need to make something to make it up to him. To appease his wretched and overly demanding self.

This is one of the times that I wish he was in human form. I'd take him downstairs, tie him to my St. Andrews cross and give him a beating that most people'll pay for.

Pork tenderloin with hoisin demi-glaze..

Ingredients

* 1 pound pork tenderloin
* 1 tablespoon toasted sesame oil
* Salt and pepper
* 4 medium garlic cloves, smashed
* 12 ounces green beans, cut into 1-inch lengths

* 1/4 cup dry sherry or shaoxing wine
* 1/4 cup hoisin sauce
* Toasted sesame seeds, for garnish, optional
* Thinly sliced green onions, for garnish, optional
* Steamed rice, for serving, if desired

Directions
Trim excess fat from tenderloin. Cut into 1-inch pieces, pat with paper towels, rub with some sesame oil, and season with salt and freshly ground black pepper.

Place a medium skillet over medium high heat, add 1 tablespoon sesame oil. When oil shimmers, add pork and cook until browned and cooked partially, about 2 to 3 minutes per side.

Remove pork to a plate, return skillet to stove, and add garlic. When garlic is fragrant, add green beans and stir occasionally until browned, about 3 minutes. Add sherry and hoisin, stir to combine, and cook until beans are tender and sauce is reduced slightly and sherry smell is cooked off, about 4 minutes. Return pork to pot, turn to coat in sauce, season with salt and freshly ground black pepper. Sprinkle with sesame seeds and green onions, if using, and serve over rice.